the stranglers. THE STRANGLERS. HOLY SHIT I SAW THE STRANGLERS.

buckle yourselves in, this is gonna be a long one.

i wrote something before about how i bought a vip ticket for the stranglers show in philly, because i love this band so fucking much and i was also really excited to meet jet black. i found out not too long before the show that jet was not on this leg of the tour, which probably shouldn't have surprised me, but it was still incredibly disappointing for me. so, i'm going to tell you something super nerdy that i did. i drew a picture of jet (just his face) and wrote him a little note around it, saying how i was really looking forward to meeting him, he's one of my favorite drummers, and playing along to stranglers albums has made me so much better. i thanked him for being "so fucking cool" and that sort of thing. i brought it with me so i could find a way to get it to him. i told you it was nerdy.

i bought my friend a ticket to the show as her birthday present, so i drove us to philly, got something to eat and then i had to ditch her in the restaurant to get to the venue in time. i got my ticket at the box office, then i got handed my vip lanyard, and then i had to stand in line and i must have looked crazy because i couldn't stand still and i kept looking around and fidgeting. it was annoying. i annoyed myself. but i was so excited! another friend was doing the vip thing with his wife so he let me stand with them and we laughed at how nervous i was. my hands were literally shaking. but i was glad to have someone there that i knew even though i was still freaking out. i watched everyone take their turn, and wished i could hear what they were saying so i could have some idea what to say to them because my mind was just blank. then my friend and his wife took their turn. i was next.

my heart was pounding and i felt like i might throw up, but i managed to walk to the table and say hello, and they all said hi to me. jj was standing, and he kept leaning forward to talk. it was nice. he asked me my name, and i said chloe, and he said "is that c-h-l-o-e, with an umlaut?" and i was like UHHH YES YOU ARE SMART. or something. i always say the dumbest things when people ask me about my name, i should probably work on that. so i handed them the one album i decided to bring along because it's so fucking good and also ideal for signing purposes, as you can see - black & white - and asked if they would sign it, and they said of course. dave was first, and he looked at me and said "do you have a pen?" luckily, i was carrying a sharpie on me. it kind of made me laugh that they had this vip event, and nothing to sign with. so he signed it next to his picture. then baz was next. he said "do you want me to sign it? since i'm not on this record." i knew this was going to happen. part of me really didn't want him to sign it, because no, he's not on the record, and i've always fancied myself a cornwell girl. but who fucking cares? the way he was looking at me, the way that he asked...this guy is as much a strangler as the others so what the fuck is my problem? no problem. i said "i don't want you to feel left out. you sign it too." so he drew a head on hugh's body and signed next to it. and i love it. absolutely fucking love it. jj signed his name, and then it was picture time. jj moved out so i could get on the bench between him and baz and he said "do you want to come sit with the bad boys?" YES. FOREVER. PLEASE. he probably says that to all the girls. but i felt special. as i moved in and sat down, i actually said out loud "i'm totally freaking out right now." then jj decided to personalize his signature and wrote "pour la belle chloë" and i just about melted onto the bench right there. he said something about how since he had asked my name, he should write it on there. which is really sweet.

the guy taking the pictures seemed kind of antsy so i smiled as best i could but i kind of felt like crying at the same time because they were so nice and my turn was almost over and i wanted to hang out with them for the rest of my life. anyway, so he took the picture while i tried to keep it all together.

i skipped a part. i handed them the record to sign and it got passed along and then i said "i have kind of weird request," and they all just looked at me inquisitively. everything was so adorable. i know i sound like a total fangirl but i warned you all about this. ok, so i pulled jet's note out of my bag and said "i wrote something to jet; would you be able to give this to him for me?" and they all said "yeah, yeah, absolutely, of course." they were so cool about it. then jj said to give it to some guy (tour manager? roadie? i don't know, but he was really nice to me as well) and he would make sure it got to jet. the guy asked if he could look at it, so i said yes. he did, and then said "i could scan this and email it to him tonight, if you would like that." FUCK YEAH. that would be amazing. he asked if i wanted the original back and i said no, i want him to have that too. and i told the dudes that i love jet's drumming so much and that i just really wanted him to know that, and i was sad i didn't get to meet him, and they said that he was sad to not be here. but he isn't well and couldn't make it. they got all serious and sad looking which made me nervous. it's such a bummer. but i guess the next best thing to meeting him is that he'll get my note. so after the picture i turned and shook baz's hand, and leaned over to shake dave's hand, and then jj's, and jj was so sweet. he has such an adorable face. i wanted to give hugs instead of handshakes but i felt like i would just be embarrassing myself. and there was still half the vip people to go, so i didn't want to be an asshole. i wrote down my email address on the back of the note in case jet wants to email me back; i said i wasn't sure if he was into that kind of thing but the dude said he's really cool with his fans. so yay. then i had to go back outside to wait.

my friend was out there so we reconvened and she listened to me babble on like a crazy person about how wonderful they are and how happy i was and whatever the hell else i was saying. then my boss and his lady friend showed up and stood in line with us and we all hung out together. i'm glad they were all so understanding, because i am pretty sure i was acting like a 15 year old girl who just met the beatles. minus the crying. you can imagine how obnoxious that would be right? yeah. i'm sorry. but it was a big deal.

so the opening band was called residuels? i think. they were really good but i'm not going to talk about them now because this is turning into a tolstoy novel.

you know what? here's the set list:

i know this is wrong at the end because they definitely didn't do "something better change." that was sad enough for me because i was really looking forward to that song (mostly, so i could hear jj shout "STICK MY FINGERS RIGHT UP YOUR NOSE" because it's like the greatest lyric ever written) but then i find out IT'S ON THE SET LIST AND THEY SKIPPED IT. ugh. my life is so hard. (sarcasm, guys.) after "no more heroes" they came back out for "tank" and "hanging around." then they left and came back and did "5 minutes" and "straighten out." so no "down in the sewer" either. SAD FACE.

but seriously, it's cool. it was one of the best shows i've ever seen. i was pretty close to the front, and before they started some guy said "aren't you a little young to like these guys?" NOPE. "what's 'too young' anyway?" he didn't know how to answer that. then it was "how long have you been listening to them?" SINCE I WAS 15, YA BITCH. i should have said that, but i didn't. maybe he was just being friendly and trying to make conversation but it felt like he was challenging me. usually the old punks are cool and happy that there are young people keeping the flame burning but sometimes you get the feeling they think they're better than you because they saw the band in the '70s. sorry i wasn't alive then, asshole, and thanks for rubbing it in because if i could do anything it would be to time travel and see all the bands i love back when they were starting out. uh, so anyway, he kept asking me things but luckily the lights went down and "waltzinblack" started playing. i had an empty plastic cup in my hand, and when that waltz started, i freaked out and crushed it in my hand. it was kind of funny. so, they came out on stage! and stated playing "toiler on the sea"! this other guy who was in front of me kept turning and looking at me as the set progressed and i was shamelessly singing my heart out and dancing, and at some point he motioned for me to stand in front of him. uh, are you sure? he nodded, so i grabbed the opportunity. it was between "skin deep" and "always the sun." 2 brilliant songs. the only bad part was that he is an avid air guitarist and his strumming hand kept hitting my ass, especially on "walk on by," which is the longest song they do. oh well. I WAS UP FRONT!

i'm not going to talk about each individual song and what they mean to me and why i like them, because i need to stop at some point. i could talk about this for the rest of my life if i thought anyone cared that much. but LOOK AT THAT SET LIST. those songs! they are so good! and i saw them playing those songs right in front of me! during "no more heroes," dave was playing one handed and draining his drink with the other hand and when his cup was empty, he threw it at baz, who then headbutted it. it was perfect. the entire show i kept freaking out. i know for a fact when "nice 'n' sleazy" started, i shouted "OH MY GOD" because i was so happy. and it was really fucking cool to hear them do "grip" and "peaches" because as i said in my hugh cornwell post, those were the first stranglers songs i ever heard. and to hear dave's keyboards and jj's bass right in front of me...it was almost too much. remember - teenage beatles fan sans the tears? that was me at the stranglers show. sigh.

i'm so happy right now. i don't know what to do. it's 3:30am and i don't want to sleep because then that means that the night is really over and i want this to last forever. i could keep writing but there's not much else to say. they are spectacular humans and i'm proud to call the stranglers my favorite band.

 oh jj, you so cute.

 dave greenfield. the one and only.

 baz, you won me over tonight. thank you.

 this is not jet black, but he does really well playing like him.

 bass face ♥

Hugh Cornwell Adventures, Part 3

ahhh, the story continues. hugh cornwell told me that he would be playing at the ramones birthday bash in may and wanted me to accompany him! fantastic news! but...the date was may 19 and i had tickets to see elvis costello, and, sorry hugh, but elvis will always be my #1. perhaps if i didn't already have the tickets in my possession i would have gone, but alas. i will write about the elvis show in another update, because hoooly shit, it was fantastic. even though i missed out on this:

richard lloyd from television came onstage and played guitar on 'get a grip' at the end
which worked a treat, sounded very velvet underground

GOD DAMN IT. oh well. um.. so. yes. basically, i check his touring schedule religiously even though he'll tell me if he's going to be in the area. but i saw that he was touring the east coast in the fall before he told me about it so i picked one of the dates in jersey, since he wasn't coming to philly. it was the one at the brighton bar in long branch. in one of his emails, he told me

look forward to hanging with you again in n jersey
I think debbie from blondie will come to the show in long branch as she lives near there
she came the last time we played there

UM WHAT. DEBBIE HARRY? that sealed the deal. no way was i going to miss this. 

so, uh, long branch is really fucking far away from where i live! ha. but the drive was definitely worth it. i got there and i was on the list (i like saying that. "i was on the list." it makes me sound cooler than i am). i texted hugh again (hehe. i like saying that too. it never gets old.) and let him know i was there. of course he didn't see it in time. i was standing inside near the back when i saw him walk in, and as soon as he saw me he came right over and gave me a hug and said into my ear "oh, it's a shame, you just missed debbie. she left about five minutes ago."

how to deflate me in five seconds: that was it.

oh well. i still have the whole night ahead of me. a debbie-less night. but still! a night.

we go out to the van, since there are opening bands playing and it's really loud inside. kind of funny though, if i was one of those opening bands, i'd be sad that he didn't stick around to watch. anyway, i brought with me the newest bunch of songs my band had recorded. it was a rough mix, but still sounded really good (to us, anyway). i suggested listening to it, and he was all too happy to put it in the van's cd player. 

now, you know you're doing something right when hugh cornwell, of the stranglers, who had ten hit albums and twenty-one top forty singles, tells you your band's songs are "ambitious" and that he really likes them. he complimented my drumming and in that moment i was so proud of myself and my bandmates. then he regaled me with stories of getting his visa and such and how it's a longer process when you have a criminal record. that's no secret, by the way, he wrote a book about the time he spent in jail called inside information, which you can find in his autobiography, a multitude of sins. and so on. then fish popped in the van and said hey. when one of the roadies came in to try and get some sleep, we decided to go back inside. i left the cd with him.

now, i get to hang out with hugh and his band in the dressing room. it was the size of a closet. i'm not kidding.  it was cramped with about six of us in there. hilarious, and just a little bit sad. when clem burke came in and graced us with his presence (and i swear i'm not being facetious when i say that because i look up to him so much, you don't even know), hugh said "this is chloe, you remember her, from phoenix?" and then i started thinking shit, i've seen them in 3 different states now, they're going to think i'm insane... and then clem smiled at me and said "of course! how ya doin', doll?" which immediately quelled my fears. nothing can make you feel bad when clem burke calls you "doll." 

the next hour or so or however long was pretty fun. fish offered me a yodel. you know, those cake things? i didn't take it, but still. the offer was there. i held the guitar tuner for hugh while he tuned his guitar up. i heard them working out the sound effects for "toiler on the sea," off of black & white (there were seagull noises being thrown in). clem sat next to me and changed his shoes and drummed on the wall and said something about bruce springsteen writing "born to run" in this town. i guess my reaction was not what he was expecting, because he looked around and then said "she's not impressed." ha. 

anyway, so then i stood there and watched the show and saw clem drop a stick (which happens to me a lot and it was comforting in a weird way to watch a role model do something stupid, just like i do) and they did one long set, instead of the 2 they had been doing. i got to hear a ton of songs i hadn't heard them do before ("school mam" "toiler" "no more heroes" etc.) and i had an amazing time.

that's pretty much it; haven't seen them play since then. but expect this story to continue because no way am i missing a show if (or rather, when; in the spring, i've been told) they come back.

Hugh Cornwell Adventures, Part 2

OH HEY maybe i should start doing one post per year as a thing, since that seems to be what i'm doing anyway. or maybe i could step up my game and actually write about stuff as it happens to me. *smrt*

so, i last wrote about mr. cornwell and how he gave me his email address so i could send him some songs of mine. i protected that piece of paper - which hugh AND clem both signed, and had his email on the back - like it was my child. now it's framed and hanging up above my couch. i smile like a dork every time i look at it, and that is not hyperbole.

i emailed him a couple of songs that i thought he might like, along with a refresher on who i was, which was kind of embarrassing: "remember me? i sat on your lap for a bit?" well, he remembered and he liked the songs. HE LIKED THE SONGS. do you know what that means to me? oh, that made me so happy. so, following that, we become pen pals. what is the email equivalent of pen pals? keyboard pals? whatever. we email each other. it's pretty cool.

next part of the story: i have a friend who lives in arizona, just outside phoenix. he's one of my best friends and he bugs me to come out and visit him a lot. i had gone the previous year for a few days and was planning on going out again that year (2011), probably in march since that's when he says the weather is the best, even though the year before it rained every day. i just happened to be looking at hugh cornwell's tour dates for that year and he was going to be in phoenix in march. it was easy enough to plan my trip around that and tell my friend "so we can do whatever you want for the rest of the days i'm here but THIS NIGHT we are going to see hugh cornwell in phoenix and you can't say no." and that's what happened.

my friend has a job as a dueling pianist (i'll wait for you to stop laughing; i laughed for about ten minutes the first time he told me that). that night, he had to work and then we went straight to the george & dragon pub for the show. normally i'm completely entertained by the dueling pianist thing but this night it couldn't be over fast enough. finally we got there, i texted hugh, yes i did, i know, how cool is that? and he said "i'm out in the bus" so i went out and found him and he gave me a hug and was like "i can't believe you're here!" me neither, sir. me neither.

anyway, the set was basically the same as the last time i saw him. they open with "nice 'n' sleazy" and do a bunch of stranglers hits mixed with his solo stuff, then rattus all the way through. it was phenomenal, even when fish (bassist extraordinaire) went into "grip" instead of "peaches." i called my sister and kept her on the phone for those 2 songs. i think she liked it, once she figured out what the hell she was hearing. too soon it was over, but i still get to hang out with old punkers!

hugh shared a bottle of champagne with me while i sat sandwiched between him and fish in a booth. i couldn't even make this stuff up. the only thing that would have made it better was if clem was sitting with us but he was chatting with fans on his own. ah well. so i got to sit there, feeling like a little punk rock princess while fans came by to talk and shake hands and etc.

i proceeded to get really drunk and got in the tour bus with them (finally was acknowledged by clem, who gave me a weird smile as if to say "i remember you from philly, what the fuck are you doing here, you crazy girl?" but maybe it was just a friendly smile) and then i got to listen to the demos of the new album (totem and taboo) and he played me some other music and whatever, and that was basically it. got a cab back to my friend's place after.

the point of this story is mostly so i don't forget everything cool that happens to me, which happens more often than you would think, but also to share how neat these guys are. not one of them treated me like i was some stupid, young girl; they treated me like i was just another person hanging out with them. that might not sound like a big deal, but if you've ever been talked down to by someone, whether it's because you're younger than they are, or because they're a MAN and you're just a girl, you know why this is so important.

anyway blah blah blah this is me being a fan girl blah blah blah that's my story. i'll post part three soon. maybe right now, after i finish writing it, since i have nothing better to do.

Hugh Cornwell Adventures

HELLO. it's certainly been a while. also no one reads this so i'm sure no one missed me. but i missed writing in here. so i wanted to catch up on all the amazing shows i've been to and all the amazing music i've been listening to.

i'm going to start off with hugh cornwell (aka ex-lead singer of the stranglers).

i have always loved the stranglers, since i first listened to my punk compilation i bought in london when i was a little teenager. it had "(get a) grip (on yourself)" and "peaches" on it. i bought more of their stuff over the years but never really...understood them? maybe? they're more sophisticated than most punk bands, and their later stuff is much different than the first few albums. also i was painfully unaware of his solo catalogue. it's intense, people.

so, er...i can't believe how long it's actually been. september 2010, he did a show in philly. so that summer, i was sort of getting into the stranglers again and finally, i would like to think, understanding them. and i was online, checking out venues around philly to see if anything cool was coming up. i think i was even listening to black & white at the time, as that was basically all i was listening to those days. and there it was, at world cafe, hugh cornwell. i kind of leaped off the bed in excitement, and then went back and re-read it to make sure i wasn't hallucinating.

i went to the show, and not only did i get to see hugh cornwell play 2 sets - the first was stranglers hits and some of his solo work, and the second was the first stranglers album, rattus norvegicus, from start to finish - he had CLEM BURKE drumming for him. do you know who this is? do you know what that means to this nerdy drummer girl? the drummer from blondie. holy shit people. the man is a genius.

right, so yeah, the entire first album. huh. i nearly shat myself. it was seriously cool. the combination of stranglers songs that i was in love with for so many years, with hugh cornwell singing them right in front of me, with one of the most amazing drummers of all time, was enough to make my head spin.

as if that wasn't cool enough, hugh then sat at a table after the show to sign things and sell cds and chat with fans. i went over and my superpowers of being AMAZINGLY AWKWARD AND SHY came out. but when hugh saw me, he said, "oh hello, would you like to come sit on my lap?" all the fanboys glared at me, but i did it anyway. HOW DARE I INTERRUPT THEM TELLING HIM HOW MANY TIMES THEY SAW HIS BAND IN THE 80s??? the angry glares were worth it.

i ended up in some pictures, as people were asking to get their pictures taken with him, and he said "only if she's in them too." so, hi, people who took their picture with hugh and have to look at my dumb face also. sorry about that. but you don't just give up opportunities like that. you would have done the same thing if you were me, and you know it.

we talked for a bit, about normal things. like jazz, which is what he likes to listen to, especially when doing chores around the house. like ironing. i'm not sure if that's adorable or sad. imagining this punk rock icon humming along to jimmy smith and ironing his socks. i still don't know. and i said something about being in a band but of course i didn't bring a cd to give to him, so he gave me his email address (!!!!!) and said to email him some songs.

i have waaaaaay more to add to the whole story but i will leave you with this little anecdote from this night.

clem burke walked by at one point while i was sitting on hugh's lap still, and hugh says, "hey clem, this is chloe. she's a drummer, too."

clem: looks me up and down. "oh yeah? let me see your drumming calluses."

me: has a mild heart attack. holds hands out to clem.

clem: takes my hands, looks them over. "huh. nice." and walks away.

end scene of one of the top ten greatest moments of my life.